It’s bad enough that Romeo and Juliet has been redone a billion times. It’s even worse the amount of times Hollywood ties to sell us on a romance with a guy from the wrong side of the tracks falling in love with a rich, but sensitive girl. We’ll laugh at their awkward first meeting as poor guy tries to look tough, but shows rich girl he’s a millionaire when it comes to compassion. We’ll get angry when one dimensional, sinister rich guy rival or overbearing, conservative parent uncover the hero’s checker past and force the girl to rethink the whole thing. Then, we will finish with small tears of joy when the two are reunited and either get married, ride off into the credit covered sunset, or embrace and lock tongues in a very slow fade out.
Yeah, this is one of those movies. The whole thing plays out in front of you inside of this trailer, so unless there is some weird twist, (ie. poor guy has an evil twin, girl has a small child with someone else), that has been left out, there is nothing to compel me to the theater for this rehashed, blah plot line. It’s so lame that its scheduled for release on Valentine’s Day, because any other day of the year and the ticket sales wouldn’t even cover the body oil waxed onto these actors to give them that nice sheen for all the risque sex scenes shown in the preview. In fact, the only thing this trailer does right is show a bunch of skin to entice some horny boyfriends that have run short on good date night ideas.
So, yeah, Endless Love, a movie you’ve seen a hundred times before really setting the bar to below ho-hum right out the gate. Seems like when you have a predictable movie like this you should not go through with the two minute trailer, but I guess the producers are doing us all favor so there is no confusion as to the blandness of the picture they’re promising us. If it didn’t have such a built-in, beyond apathetic audience, I’d question why this didn’t go straight to Netflix.
- Words by Stuck